People tend to think that sadness is always bad, says Meaghan Barlow, PhD, an assistant professor in the department of psychology at Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, Ontario, who studies self-regulation, emotion, and aging. “That’s absolutely not my view.” Distinct from depression — which the World Health Organization notes is a leading cause of disability worldwide — sadness is a common emotion. Dr. Barlow says that in the right context, sadness can even be helpful. A growing body of research supports her point of view. Here, Barlow and other experts explain what sadness is, how it impacts well-being, and how you can cope when it feels like too much.
The Difference Between Sadness and Anger
Both sadness and anger can feel unpleasant and distressing, and researchers sometimes lump the two together under the umbrella of “negative affect.” (This category also includes shame, guilt, anxiety, fear, and irritability, according to research.) But sadness and anger are distinct emotions with different purposes, as other research has outlined. Anger often occurs in response to a perceived injustice, according to the APA. So when you’re angry, you might have tunnel vision and feel motivated to deal with some kind of problem. “Anger is useful in overcoming resistance,” says Joseph Forgas, a doctor of science in psychology and Scientia Professor of psychology at the University of New South Wales in Sydney. For a long time, researchers didn’t know the purpose of sadness. But now researchers believe that sadness acts as a mild alert, says Dr. Forgas, who studies the emotion. Sadness tells you that you’re in an unfamiliar situation so you need to look out and be careful, he says. The emotion causes a slew of changes in thinking and behavior (more on that later), some of which Forgas detailed in a paper published in Current Directions in Psychological Science. Think about a time you’ve experienced a major rejection, says Ethan Kross, PhD, a professor of psychology and management and organizations at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, who studies emotion and self-control. In the aftermath of the unexpected rejection, sadness might cause you to step back and try to better understand what implications that loss has for you. Withdrawing to reflect is a very different response from the quick action of anger, says Dr. Kross.
The Difference Between Sadness and Depression
According to the APA, persistent sadness is one of the two defining symptoms of a major depressive episode. But to experience sadness is not the same as having depression. In nondepressed individuals, sadness comes and goes. But when sadness is experienced intensely and for a long time, and is accompanied by other hallmark depression symptoms (lack of interest or pleasure in most activities, fatigue, and changes in appetite), it may indicate the presence of a depressive disorder. “It’s really about the degree and duration,” says Kross. Depression, in contrast to sadness, tends to be debilitating, making it difficult to perform everyday tasks, according to the APA (PDF). “It is a very serious disease that has very serious consequences,” says Forgas. That differs from everyday sad moods, which occur all the time to all of us.
How Can You Tell if It’s Depression or Everyday Sadness?
It can be tough to tell whether you’re experiencing everyday sadness or depression. Depression doesn’t look the same in everyone, which can make it difficult to recognize sometimes, Kross notes. However, if you experience symptoms including fatigue, changes in your appetite, withdrawing from friends, feeling low energy, and the inability to feel happy over a two-week period to the extent that they’re interfering with day-to-day functioning, consider talking to your doctor about getting screened for a mood disorder. The sense of loss has an element of emotional time travel, according to Steven C. Hayes, PhD, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Nevada in Reno, who has developed therapeutic strategies that incorporate mindfulness and acceptance. That means that when you experience sadness, Dr. Hayes says, you may be looking backward in time to something you once had or projecting forward and anticipating that your expectations won’t be met. For instance, you may feel sad about recent political upheaval because you hold an expectation for a future world that is more cooperative and kind, and that is threatened by current events. This example highlights an important feature of a sadness-inducing loss: It touches on something you deeply care about.
Social withdrawalDecrease in reward seekingSlowed movementDown-turned mouthDrooping or downcast eyesSlanted inner eyebrowsSlumped postureIncreased or decreased heart rateIncreased or decreased skin conductance (a measure of a small electric current in the skin that can indicate someone’s level of arousal or emotional response, according to APA)
People who are sad might say they feel lonely, distressed, depressed, anxious, or grief. Researchers who study sadness, including Forgas, acknowledge that the word “sadness” has multiple meanings. These meanings may map on to different experiences. For example, a study published in 2017 in Frontiers in Psychology compared sadness caused by imagining the death of a loved one and sadness caused by imagining failing to reach a goal. Even though participants in both groups felt sad, the two types of sadness were associated with distinct physical and psychological responses. It can be a useful exercise to find your own description for what sadness is like for you, says Deb Dana, LCSW, a clinician and consultant specializing in complex trauma and author of Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. Dana suggests comparing and contrasting your experience of sadness with how its opposite, happiness, feels. For example, for her, happiness includes moving through the world with lightness, while sadness comes with a heavy feeling in her body. These extremes can help you notice more subtle versions of the feelings. “It’s easier to tap into when they’re so far apart,” she says. Sadness, like all emotions, serves an important function by helping us respond to our circumstances in ways that set us up to take better care of our emotional health and well-being. As Kross notes, when we feel sad, we step back, reflect, and return more prepared to deal with what’s in front of us. And sadness may not have as many negative implications for health as other distressing emotions. Research suggests that inflammation and negative affect are linked. Increased inflammation is concerning, says Barlow, because of downstream negative consequences for physical health. But when you look at just sadness, it may not actually affect the body in this way. Research from Barlow’s team, published in 2019 in Psychology and Aging, links self-reported anger with increased inflammation and chronic illness, but not self-reported sadness. Here are some of the specific benefits that have been linked to sadness, and when sadness itself can be unhealthy.
1. Sadness Can Help Broaden Your Thinking
In familiar situations, we all rely on mental shortcuts and intuition to get by. When you feel sad, these automatic tendencies are reduced. Forgas says that when you’re sad, it’s almost as if you pay more attention to what’s in front of you. This approach helps you think more clearly in different ways, many of which Forgas has studied over the decades. His lab conducted research showing that people had better eyewitness memory when in a slightly worse mood. Another study demonstrated that on what Forgas calls “sad mood days,” people had improved recall and attention to the environment. More recently, in a paper published in 2019 in Current Directions in Psychological Science, he described a series of studies that together make the case that a sad mood makes people less gullible. All of this happens without your noticing it. By the time you recognize that you’re sad, sadness tends to go away, Forgas says. The takeaway, he says, isn’t that you should try to make yourself sad on purpose to think more clearly; it’s that when you happen to be sad, you can take solace that it may be helping you accurately process what’s going on so you can proceed in healthy ways.
2. Sadness Can Help You Communicate Better
You might think you should wait to have a conversation until you’re in a good mood. But Forgas has conducted research that demonstrates that people in a negative mood appear to communicate better than those in a positive one. “They understand ambiguities in sentences better. They’re better at persuading other people,” he says. Forgas says that these effects work automatically, not consciously, so the idea isn’t to try to become sad on purpose before a tough conversation. Rather, don’t put off a difficult conversation because it makes you sad; you may be able to better state how you feel in the depths of the emotion.
3. Sadness Can Help With Social Connection
One of the primary functions of sadness is to signal the need for social support, says Barlow. Consider two people: one who is sad and one who is angry. When you see someone who is sad, you have an innate urge to assist them. When you see someone who is angry, you automatically pull away. Researchers have published findings that demonstrate this gut reaction isn’t just you. One study looked at sad facial expressions and another study examined tears, and both found that those signs of sadness appear to signal to others that we could use their help. Sadness appears to improve certain interpersonal skills as well. A study that Forgas was part of showed that people in a negative mood tend to be more fair toward others, while other research showed that they are more polite.
4. Sadness Can Help You Accept Tough Realities
One of the key functions of sadness is helping you accept tough situations and come to terms with loss, says Barlow. While facilitating disengagement isn’t always good, it can sometimes be necessary. “Sometimes there are things beyond your control that it’s actually adaptive to let go of,” Barlow says. These occasions tend to happen more often as you age, Barlow explains. The onset of chronic illness, for example, often requires that you let go of the goal of trying to reverse or cure something, and instead accept your diagnosis and try to manage whatever it is you’re dealing with, she says. Sadness helps with this by causing changes in thinking and behavior that help people adapt to loss and move forward based on a new circumstances — research (PDF) backs this up). In other words, sadness promotes coping, Forgas says.
5. Sadness May Be Motivation for Healthy Behavior Changes
Other research published in 2021 shows that sadness increases healthy intentions, such as quitting smoking or increasing exercise. People who are sad may feel empowered to make these healthy changes because emotions cause us to see the world in certain ways. Sadness, which is associated with the sense that someone or something is responsible for what has happened, appears to increase people’s belief that circumstances are controllable.
6. If Sadness Becomes Depression, Health Suffers
Despite all of these potential benefits associated with sadness, when the emotion is experienced too intensely or for too long, it can indeed be bad for your health, says Kross. When sadness persists and is accompanied by other symptoms, it’s considered depression, a clinically diagnosed mood disorder. Research has linked depression to a host of health problems, including cardiovascular disease, according to a review in the European Heart Journal, and death from cancer, per a systematic review in Molecular Psychiatry. Barlow says that whether sadness is bad for your health is all about the context. Ideally, momentary experiences of sadness trigger its adaptive functions, then the sad feelings go away. But, she says, when sadness is consuming in a way that interferes with different aspects of your life, the feeling no longer serves its proper function. But feeling sadness doesn’t mean you need to spend hours alone wallowing or feeling bad, says Hayes. Instead, according to Kross, a healthy response to sadness includes the capacity to dial down how strong the feeling is and shorten how long it lasts. Kross has put together a list of science-backed tools (PDF) that he says can help you do this. One option is to spend time in nature, which can have a calming effect, according to a research review published in Behavioral Sciences. Kross says that using these skills lets you benefit from sadness without experiencing the problems that come when the feeling is too intense or persists for too long. One benefit of sadness comes when we learn from it, says Hayes. It can be helpful to see emotions as gentle guides, not dictators, that provide “one of several sources of information about our present moment,” he says. When you take time to reflect on this information, you can, hopefully, learn something that allows you to move on, adds Kross. But it’s also true that the chronic experience of sadness is a valid reason to seek support, Barlow adds. If your sadness interferes with living the life you want for more than two weeks, or if your coping tools aren’t helping, that’s a cue to get professional help, says Kross. And if you’re ever not sure how severe it is, err on the side of taking your sadness seriously, says Barlow. Instead of going it alone, tell a person you trust about what’s been going on. Someone like your primary care provider can help you decide if you need further care and what to do next. Other strategies for better coping with sadness include:
Practicing mindfulnessNormalizing the feelingExperiencing awe
Learn More About How to Cope With Sadness NIMH is a federal agency that researches mental disorders, which means it’s a reliable place to get tons of free educational materials, research updates, and support for emotional wellness. If you are a visual thinker and want clear information to help you figure out if your sadness is actually depression (and where to get help if it is), check out NIMH’s infographics on the mood disorder.
Favorite Online Support Network
Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) ADAA is an international nonprofit dedicated to preventing, treating, and curing anxiety and depression. On its website, it hosts a free peer-to-peer community filled with people who get it. The website also features lots of personal stories and can be a great place to visit if you’re looking to feel less alone with any sadness you’re experiencing. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) NAMI is the largest mental health nonprofit in the United States. Its website is packed with helpful resources, but what we love most is its support groups, which are free and geared toward people who experience mental health challenges and their families. You don’t need to be officially diagnosed with a mental health disorder to join — NAMI welcomes anyone who is looking for support with symptoms, including persistent sadness.
Favorite Movies
Inside Out This 2015 Disney movie provides a surprisingly sophisticated take on our core emotions: joy, anger, fear, disgust, and sadness. The way that sadness is portrayed, in particular, beautifully maps on to what experts told us about this misunderstood feeling and the way it helps us change our goals and beliefs in the face of loss. In fact, during the course of research for this article, Inside Out came up several times, including in a science-based book chapter about sadness (PDF).
Favorite Resources for Managing Feelings
Chatter Toolbox (PDF) Want quick, simple ways to deal with distressing thoughts? Kross compiled 10 of them in what he calls the Chatter Toolbox. He says that these tips can help with any unpleasant feelings, including sadness.
