A big key to that, says Margulies, is learning what she can control and what she can’t. “I’ve learned … how to live with uncertainty and be okay,” says Margulies. But, she adds, “I do all the things I can to increase my chances of living longer and enjoy my life while I’m alive right now.” This realization didn’t come easily, according to Margulies. “I had to work really hard to shift my mindset,” she explains. She attributes some credit to her physical therapist. “I think the first time I went to see him, we talked about that distinction between going through my life and the choices I make as a person living or dying,” Margulies says. “One good example of this is when I said to him that I really want to write letters to my daughters for them to open every year of their lives because there are so many things I want to say to them and teach them as they get older,” recalls Margulies. “He said, ‘Is that the kind of thing someone does when they are living or dying?’ And that was so clear to me — I would never think to write letters to my kids for the rest of their lives if I assumed that I was going to live,” she recalls. This type of support — from various medical professionals on a lung cancer treatment team and with different types of therapy — can make a big difference in someone’s life if they have metastatic lung cancer, according to an article published in November 2021 in Frontiers in Psychiatry. Furthermore, the article notes, the support someone receives from one type of professional can enhance the benefits they may gain from another cancer support expert. For example, physical therapy can help improve a person’s physical health while also boosting their psychological well-being; conversely, counseling can then help motivate someone to engage in physical activity. For Margulies, focusing on living is something she tries to do daily. “Being with my kids and focusing my energy and my choices and my life around being here right now and how much life that can give me … that was a shift that I made,” she says. “I’m not going through my life trying to avoid death; I’m going through my life trying to live really well.” Today, she says, she feels happier than she’s ever been. “I feel a little bit like people think I’ve kind of lost my mind when I say that — I recognize that it sounds kind of crazy because I have metastatic lung cancer,” says Margulies. “It’s really bad — I’m not disconnected from the horror of it; but I’m having this experience, feeling like now is the time for me to [live] my life.” This interview took place in February 2019.
